Veterinary Vexations: Phone a friend? Not if it’s a veterinarian!

Parties, malls, soccer games, and Facebook are just a few of the places where veterinarians are cornered for casual medical advice, even care, for their pets. Why the under-the-table solicitations? Sheer convenience. A play for free help. Trust in an acquaintance. Or just an innocent conversation starter.

Do veterinarians unwittingly invite these chummy blitzes? Some say yes.

“A lot of veterinarians are empathetic and people-pleasing perfectionists by nature,” Julie Cappel, DVM, veterinary life coach, said. “But…people assume we want to do our jobs 24-7.”

Full-time veterinarians work an average of 42.3 hours weekly.¹ The job is both brain-twisting and mind-numbingly repetitive in turns, sometimes gut-wrenching, and always a vocal workout. A recent study of quality of life in the veterinary profession reported high burnout in 1 of 4 survey respondents.²

Veterinarians often assume they won’t be asked medical questions when they’re off the clock. However, Cappel said, this hopeful thinking comes at a cost.

“It becomes a big problem because we veterinarians think it shouldn’t happen… Of course, we are going to get asked stuff, because what we do is interesting and people love their animals,” she added.

Joe Hyduke, DVM, medical director of Malvern Veterinary Hospital in Pennsylvania, said he isn’t bothered. “I enjoy what I do, and I like talking about it.”

Hyduke recalled a recent outing where “everyone on the beach”—upon hearing he was a veterinarian—approached him with questions about their pets. Although he doesn’t mind the queries, he conceded that these scenarios often feel intrusive to his companions. So, when he attends a social event, he sometimes refrains from rolling out the “V” word.

Despite loving his work, Noto feels that when a friend or family member shows him a photo on their phone of their cat’s abscess while at a party and asks him for medication, for instance, they are undervaluing the profession: They are dismissing not only the rigor needed to manage a case, but also the rightful remuneration.

Comparing veterinary medicine to law, he said, “A lawyer will charge you if he thinks about your case while taking a bath. A lawyer will charge you if he calls you and gets no answer. A lawyer will charge you the extra hour on the nights we jump the clock forward.”

Money aside, there are also complex legal issues in play, Rob Simpson, DVM, JD, president of the American Veterinary Medical Law Association, said. Whether the medical advice or treatment is doled out to a client at the clinic or to a friend outside the office, the veterinarian is held to the same standard of care. “You are accountable, even if it’s at a party,” he warned.

A veterinarian cannot legally treat a pet without a valid veterinarian-client-patient-relationship (VCPR). What constitutes a VCPR varies by state, but most require an understanding of the patient’s history, a recent in-person exam, availability for ongoing consultation about prescribed treatments, and record-keeping, with some states mandating a novel VCPR for each new condition that arises.

All of this is hard to do if we are counseling the stranger sitting next to us on a plane about his pet we’ve never seen in person. And from a purely ethical standpoint, the American Veterinary Medical Association frowns on mixing medicine and friendship or kinship because of concerns about professional objectivity and conflicts of interest.³

Simpson recounted a case involving a veterinarian whose close friend became a client. The friend dropped by the hospital one day because his pet had a seizure. The doctor and the owner chatted in the lobby. Without examining the pet or offering diagnostics, the veterinarian offhandedly remarked, “‘Why don’t you try some [cannabidiol]?’”

Two days later, the dog presented with liver failure and died. After the friend reported him to the state veterinary medical board, Simpson recalled, the doctor received professional discipline because the owner was treated “more as a friend than as a client.”

“You don’t typically think a friend will report you,” he explained, “but the moment something goes wrong, it hits the fan.”

Anthony Mahan, Esq, managing attorney with Mahan Law in Bellevue, Kentucky, said his office now handles more state board complaints than it did in the past. Not only are licenses on the line, but pet owners can sue for malpractice.

What may a veterinarian legally do for nonclient friends and family? Simpson said they may give general husbandry advice. Nutritional counseling is generally OK too, though the legalities here can be murky. But sending a friend’s pet to the vet always gets a green light. “You will never get in trouble for saying, ‘Yes, that sounds like it needs to be seen.’”

Now 25-plus years in practice, RobNoto,VMD, medical director at Memorial Veterinary Hospital in Throop, Pennsylvania, no longer provides guidance for pets that are not his patients: He draws a hard line. “If I don’t see you in the office, I don’t talk about your pet,” he affirmed.

He also shies away from giving second opinions, instead redirecting the owner to listen to their own veterinarian. His stringency is sometimes met with consternation. “The closer they are to you, the more shocked they are that you’re not getting involved,” Noto observed.

Cappel noted that sometimes second opinions are really just a friend’s way of seeking a better understanding of what their own veterinarian told them. She said she has no issue with serving as a friendly interpreter of complex medical information.

Our profession touches virtually everyone’s life. And “everyone” sometimes seeks our help at any hour of the day, even if they are not our client.

To shield our personal time, think wheat and chaff. Cappel said we should select which acquaintances to let into our privileged space and follow the letter of the law in doing so. We should also decide whom to keep at arm’s length, medically speaking, and be prepared with ways to pivot them.

We can advise them to listen to their own veterinarian, who is likely more familiar with that animal’s health than we are. We can direct them to call our office to schedule an in-office appointment. We can refer them to another vet for their pet’s problem. Or, she added, we can simply say, “‘I don’t talk work when I’m at a party.’”

References

1. 2025 AVMA Report on the Economic State of the Veterinary Profession. 2025. American Veterinary Medical Association.
2. Rohlf VI, Scotney R, Monaghan H, Bennett P. Predictors of professional quality of life in veterinary professionals. J Vet Med Educ. 2022:49(3):372-381. doi:10.3138/jvme-2020-0144
3. Principles of veterinary medical ethics of the AVMA. American Veterinary Medical Association. Accessed January 7, 2026. https://www.avma.org/resources-tools/avma-policies/principles-veterinary-medical-ethics-avma