The art of saying no: 5 scripts for veterinary professionals

The word "no" is two letters and one syllable, and yet it may be the hardest thing to say in a veterinary practice. That was the premise of a recent "rapid rounds" episode on The Resilient Vet podcast, in which cohost Jennifer Edwards, DVM, ACC, ELI-MP, offered 5 ready-made scripts for declining a request cleanly, without over-explaining, apologizing, or reopening the door.

Edwards, a former practice owner and now an International Coaching Federation (ICF)-certified leadership coach, framed the segment as the close of a series on why veterinary professionals so often say yes when they do not mean it.

Her criteria for an effective “no,” Edwards explained, consists of the following:

• It does not defend itself
• It does not over-explain
• It does not apologize
• It comes from a grounded place

Warmth is allowed, Edwards explained, noting that warmth does not weaken a “no,” but over-explaining and defending it can. Any of the scripts below can be softened to "no, thank you" or paired with "thank you for thinking of me," depending on what the moment calls for.

The clean no

The simplest form, with nothing attached: no clauses, no reason, no softener. Edwards noted it works on the first ask or the fifteenth.

• Examples: "No," or "No, I'd rather not."

The practical no

This one frames the refusal around what works and what does not, which removes the personal charge and keeps things neutral.

• Examples: "No, that doesn't work for me," or "No, a same-day appointment doesn't work with our schedule today."

The alternative no

Here the answer is still no, but it comes with something in its place, whether a different person, resource, location, or a smaller version of what was asked. Edwards was careful to add that no one owes an alternative, and a clean no is always enough.

• When a genuine alternative exists, examples include: "No, I can't do that, but John might be a great fit for this," or "No, I can't come in on my day off. However, I could do a telehealth call."

The empathetic no

This script is for when a no lands on someone else, and the goal is to acknowledge the impact without changing the answer or apologizing for it.

• Examples: "Unfortunately, while I know this puts you in a tough position, my answer is no," or "I know this isn't what you were hoping to hear, and my answer is no."

The final no

The one that closes the door, whether the ask has come once or ten times. Edwards said no warmth is required here. Say it clearly and mean it.

• Examples: "No, my answer stands. I ask that you not bring this to me again," or "No, and I want to be clear that this isn't a conversation I'm willing to revisit."

Edwards closed by encouraging listeners to pick the script that fits and say it out loud, even if only to themselves, on the logic that practicing a no makes it easier to reach for in the moment. The segment followed 3 earlier episodes in the series: "You said yes again, didn’t you?" and a two-part "Wired to say yes":

• Wired to say "yes"—Part 1: The inner game
• Wired to say yes—Part 2: The outer game.

Co-host Aaron Shaw, OTR/L, CHT, CSCS, an occupational therapist and strength and conditioning specialist who works with veterinary teams through Project VetSpan, rounded out the episode.

Listen to the full episode here.