The Year of the Dog: Death to vacuums, and lidless trashcans for all

February 7, 2018

Every dog has its day, and now every dog is about to have its year, thanks to the Chinese zodiac. Heres what dogs must think the Year of the Dog entails.

If you've noticed an air of anticipation and pride in your canine patients lately, we may know why.

February 16 is Chinese New Year, which marks the beginning of-you guessed it-the Year of the Dog. And while this festival is traditionally a time to honor deities and ancestors, we can't help thinking dogs will view it a bit differently.

Using extensive anecdotal evidence, we've compiled a list of what dogs must think the Year of the Dog entails. For starters ...

Very ... slow ... squirrels (in large quantities)

Owner focusing humiliating costume energies on the cat

An end to fake ball throwing

Owner becoming stay-at-home dog parent

Lidless kitchen trashcans for all

An end to the evil vacuum's reign of terror

Nail trims, schmail trims (sooo last year)