Using communication to defuse client conflict

On this episode of The Vet Blast Podcast, presented by dvm360, our host, Adam Christman, DVM, MBA, welcomes Debra Hamilton, JD, to discuss the importance of communication in veterinary medicine. Throughout the episode, Hamilton emphasizes the need for veterinarians to build relationships with clients by asking curious questions and being transparent.

Through this episode, Hamilton highlights common disputes, such as a lack of communication, and suggests setting boundaries and using mediation to resolve conflicts. Plus, the value of learning from breeders and the impact of negative experiences on client-veterinarian interactions, and more.

Below is a partial transcript, edited lightly for clarity.

Adam Christman, DVM, MBA: In your experience, what are some of the more common disputes that you see in general?

Debra Hamilton, JD: Lack of communication.

Christman: Yeah.

Hamilton: As you said, pets have become so much more important to all of us in our lives…. [Peter Weinstein, DVM, MBA], said on my podcast, “Why do pets matter?” The reason pets are so important to us now is because you guys effected a really [great change] in tick medicine. We can take [pets to] bed with us now, so…they're so much more [involved] than they were when I was young, which was 100 years ago….

Veterinarians tell themselves stories about clients. If they think they're like that other client, or even if they're just surmising what the client is doing and why they're doing it, you have no idea. Ask that curious question: “Adam, you seem a little tense today. Tell me a little bit about what's going on, because it seems like we're not having as great a conversation as we've had.” And Adam might say, “Well, I had a fight with my partner,” or “I had a car accident [on the way] I in,” or “I spilled my coffee on myself.” So that creates that human touch.

When I talk to pet owners, [they always say], “They never tell me anything—they just do things, and everything's behind closed doors now.” Many veterinarians like to take your dog in the back, and that really affects that trust for veterinarians and their staff. Trust has been the stalwart of veterinary medicine. People came to you because they knew you, they liked you, they trusted you, and now that doesn't seem to be such an important piece of the relationship between veterinarians and pet owners. And yet, as you know in your work, if you have a relationship with someone and you can talk about their kids, their dogs, and baseball, that's going to be a better relationship than if you just come in and ask, "So, what's wrong with Fluffy?” or "Why are you here? Let's check up on Fluffy.”

They want to have that relationship where they know that you are giving them 100% of your attention, listening to them, reflecting back what they're saying, and asking curious questions, which always helps.

Christman: That's what it's all about. I feel like I'm more of a pediatrician than anything else. I would always try to do a little bit of checking in—see how it's going. How are the kids doing in school? Because you’re really a part of that journey with them in the family. I always invite the new graduates to take off the doctor cap for a moment and just put on the pet parent cap, because at the end of the day, that's what we have in common on the same side of that exam table: We love our animals. So you want to check in: “How's it going?” [And they] say, “Oh, you know what, it's been a really rough week.”

So in my mind, I know [there’s a] little bit of tension already, a little stress. And the other thing that I see a lot of is the unknown. A lot of these pet owners have anxiety because they don't know what we're going to tell them. That could be a lipoma to you and I, but to them, that's a mass, and that's annoying and scary. But if you dismiss them, then trust is broken. And I love that you mentioned that, because it's so hard to earn the trust. I think it's easy to really lose it, but having that transparency and that ability to get their buy-in is so important.