Rudolph bucks the wrong side of the law


Truth stranger than fiction in trying to explain reason for speeding to long arm of the law

The roads of West Texas are painfully lonely at 2 a.m. In fact, I had not seen a car in 20 minutes as I sped toward a waiting reindeer.

Why does it seem that reindeer always go into labor at 2 a.m.?

There is one thing about being the only vehicle on the road you arevery noticeable. As I mounted the only hill in Gaines County, there wasnothing else for the police officer to look at but a speeding veterinarianheaded for a reindeer delivery.

"Great," I thought. "There is no way this guy is goingto believe this."

He ambled up to the truck with that typical "cautious policeman"gait. I could feel the beam of his flashlight bouncing off of my head asI anticipated his smirk when I informed him of my mission.

"Could I see your drivers license, please, sir?"

"Well, Mr. Brock any reason you are in such a hurry at these latehours?"

I always feel like a third grader that has been sent to the principal'soffice when the law pulls me over. As much as I wanted to sound convincing,I just choked up on the next few words that came out of my mouth. The noisethat poured forth sounded like a 14-year-old boy who was going through the"yodel" that comes with puberty.

"Uhm, yes officer, I was just on my way to deliver a reindeer baby."

If I had not been in such a hurry, the look that came over his face wouldhave been something to let hang in the air for awhile and savor. But withthe urgency of the matter, I decided to expound a bit more.

"You see, I am a veterinarian and there is a female reindeer aboutfive more miles down the road that is having a critical time delivering;she's having a dystocia."

I decided to throw in the big word there at the end to perhaps add abit of credibility to my claim. It was not until this moment in my veterinaryhistory that I realized that there was no way to prove that I actually ama veterinarian!

"You mean to tell me that you are speeding though the warm WestTexas night to deliver a baby reindeer? Well, I've heard it all now,"came bubbling from his lips behind an expression that joined a slight grinwith a look of disgust.

"Listen my friend, this reindeer is worth about $10,000 bucks ifI can get it out before it dies. I know you are here to enforce the law,so if you are going to give me a ticket, would you mind following me overto the reindeer and writing it out as I bring that critter into the world?"

My pubescent voice had turned to an incredibly authoritative one withabsolutely no conscience effort. In fact, I was hoping that I had not soundedtoo bossy when some bass finally came back to my tones.

Much to my surprise, he suddenly became excited and urgent himself. Healmost panicked. He began shuffling his feet and folding the papers thatfilled his hands. He looked down the road as if to visualize this reindeergoing through the Lamaze steps in anticipation of her doctor arriving.

"I just don't believe anyone could make something like this up,"he said. "You just run along now and save that baby's life."

"Good luck," was the last thing I heard him say as I pulledback onto the road to finish my calling.

I got there in plenty of time to help 'ole Rudolph take his first breath.I've often wondered if he went back to the station and told his buddiesor if he just kept it to himself figuring they would all make fun of himand think he was crazy. I've also wondered if it would work every time.

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