• DVM360_Conference_Charlotte,NC_banner
  • ACVCACVC
  • DVM 360
  • Fetch DVM 360Fetch DVM 360
DVM 360
dvm360 | Veterinary News, Veterinarian Insights, Medicine, Pet Care
dvm360 | Veterinary News, Veterinarian Insights, Medicine, Pet Care
By Role
AssociatesOwnersPractice ManagerStudentsTechnicians
Subscriptions
dvm360 Newsletterdvm360 Magazine
News
All News
Association
Breaking News
Education
Equine
FDA
Law & Ethics
Market Trends
Medical
Politics
Products
Recalls
Regulatory
Media
dvm360 LIVE!™
Expert Interviews
The Vet Blast Podcast
Medical World News
Pet Connections
The Dilemma Live
Vet Perspectives™
Weekly Newscast
dvm360 Insights™
Publications
All Publications
dvm360
Firstline
Supplements
Vetted
Clinical
All Clinical
Anesthesia
Animal Welfare
Behavior
Cardiology
CBD in Pets
Dentistry
Dermatology
Diabetes
Emergency & Critical Care
Endocrinology
Equine Medicine
Exotic Animal Medicine
Feline Medicine
Gastroenterology
Imaging
Infectious Diseases
Integrative Medicine
Nutrition
Oncology
Ophthalmology
Orthopedics
Pain Management
Parasitology
Surgery
Toxicology
Urology & Nephrology
Virtual Care
Business
All Business
Business & Personal Finance
Hospital Design
Personnel Management
Practice Finances
Practice Operations
Wellbeing & Lifestyle
Continuing Education
Conferences
Conference Listing
Conference Proceedings
Upcoming dvm360 Conferences
Resources
CBD in Pets
CE Requirements by State
Contests
Partners
Spotlight Series
Team Meeting in a Box
Toolkit
Top Recommended Veterinary Products
Vet to Vet
Veterinary Heroes
  • Contact Us
  • Fetch DVM360 Conference
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy
  • Do Not Sell My Information
  • About Us

© 2023 MJH Life Sciences and dvm360 | Veterinary News, Veterinarian Insights, Medicine, Pet Care. All rights reserved.

Advertisement
By Role
  • Associates
  • Owners
  • Practice Manager
  • Students
  • Technicians
Subscriptions
  • dvm360 Newsletter
  • dvm360 Magazine
  • Contact Us
  • Fetch DVM360 Conference
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy
  • Do Not Sell My Information
  • About Us
  • MJHLS Brand Logo

© 2023 MJH Life Sciences™ and dvm360 | Veterinary News, Veterinarian Insights, Medicine, Pet Care. All rights reserved.

Answer: All of the above

June 1, 2003
Michael A. Obenski, DVM

Telephone calls from my friend, Arnie, fall into a category I term E-calls.

Telephone calls from my friend, Arnie, fall into a category I term E-calls.

They are informative and yet, at the same time, you would have to label them frustrating. And, although amusing, they have a way of being too time-consuming. Therefore, I refer to them as E-calls because they are "all of the above."

"The reason they call me mushroom is because I'm a fungi (fun guy.)"

Our most recent conversation fit that pattern well.

"I just called to share some more of the veterinary office terminology that we've been formulating at my clinic," he said.

Advertisement

I knew that I was in for another dose of Arnie's bad puns and corny one-liners. However, realizing that there was no way to stop him, I let him go on.

"My last office call was very interesting," he said. "This lady brought her cat in to see me because it was a pony. You know, a little hoarse. Get it Mike? A little hoarse? (horse)?

"I get it, Arnie," I told him. "Go ahead with your silly story."

"Well, anyway," he continued, "there wasn't much wrong with the cat, but the lady was a regular Humpty Dumpty. You know, ready to fall to pieces. And, she wanted me to run all sort of tests on the cat. I wasn't too thrilled with the idea because the last time he was here, this cat was a real Roman. That is, he Claudius (clawed us) all up. Are you with me so far, Mike?"

"I follow you, Arnie. When you call, I'm an elephant, all ears that is. But I have to tell you, one call from you and I get the Ben and Jerry syndrome. I scream (ice cream) if you get what I mean. After all, your puns are real Oscar Meyers. That is to say, they are the wurst (worst.)

"Thanks for the encouragement," he said undaunted. "I just make these things up for the fun of it. It has never been my intention to be like Rommel and get lots of tanks (thanks). But let me go on with the story. I ran a bunch of tests, but couldn't find out why the cat was listless. When I explained it to the lady, she told me that he had been this way all of his life and it was normal for him. He had never been a Gutenburg, a moveable type, that is.

"Does this story have an ending?" I asked. "Because you're getting to be more and more of a chauffeur. You're driving me crazy!"

"Relax, I'm just getting to the good part. After asking me to run all those tests, it turns out that she doesn't have any money. The bill is a hundred and ninety dollars and she hands me a Pavarotti, a tenor (tenner). But, I didn't let it bother me. Nobody is going to call me Ernest and Julio. I don't wine (whine) when things don't go my way. After all, that's why they call me mushroom."

"I get this one, Arnie," I said. "I'll bet they call you mushroom because you seem to be in the dark most of the time."

"Wrong, Mike. Care to take another guess?" he asked.

"Sure," I replied. "I don't know why I didn't think of this first. Mushroom would be a good name for you since you thrive on manure."

"Wrong again," he said. "The reason they call me mushroom is because I'm a fungi (fun guy)."


Advertisement

Latest News

Comparing treatments for restoring the skin barrier in atopic dogs

Increasing efficiency and productivity in uncertain times

AAVMC awards almost $100,000 in diversity scholarships

News wrap-up: This week’s headlines, plus Maryland Zoo welcomes baby addra gazelle

View More Latest News
Advertisement