15 things you'd never say in veterinary practice


Heres a quick countdown of the top phrases you will never hear veterinary team members say in practice.

15. It's the end of the day, and my scrubs are still so clean!

14. I totally do this for the money.

13. It's best to listen to what your breeder says, no matter what.

12. Please don't leash your dog in the waiting room. We feel it's best for all patients to interact freely.

11. No, I don't want to express that sebaceous cyst.

10. You're right. He doesn't need heartworm prevention since he only goes outside to potty.

9. I love the smell of parvo in the morning!

8. I hope a cat bites me today. I need a new scar.

7. Of course I'd be more comfortable with you restraining your pet instead of my experienced co-worker.

6. Please continue to talk on the phone while I try to get the history on your pet.

5. No, thank you. We don't like homemade cookies and cakes. They sit around for days and go completely to waste.

4. I always get to leave work and take my lunch on time.

3. No, we don't actually need anesthesia for dental cleanings. Most pets will just open their mouths and say ahh.

2. Yup. It's puppies and kittens All. Day. Long.

1. I wish our patients were human. 

Dr. Andy Roark practices in Greenville, S.C. He is the founder and managing director of the veterinary consulting firm Tall Oaks Enterprises.

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