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Best Blog: The number one goal of parenting

December 1, 2012

Focusing on a supportive relationship with your kids is essential.

Not only am I a veterinary surgeon, a business owner and a wife, but I am also a mother to two great kids who could not be more different. My oldest, Ben, is obsessed with traveling and exploring the world. He has also developed an affinity for lizards in the last few months. Arden, my daughter, is all about hanging out at home, creating art and participating in gymnastics, though I am betting there may be veterinary school in her future.

(JEANNIE BLINSON PHOTOGRAPHY)

Being a parent is scary—and some days completely draining. There are times when I can't get enough of my kids, and there are other times I literally have to keep myself from completely going off on them. Welcome to parenting. There is also nothing more I would rather be than a great mom. Some days I do well and some days I do not, but I always try to remember that my relationship with them is where it all begins.

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On a particularly bad day, I had a really challenging case at work. By the time I got home I was emotionally and physically exhausted. The challenge for me is that this is when I want to do the least for those who I love the most.

It was all I could do to get through making dinner, getting a few must-do's completed, and reading a book with Arden. It was by no means a great parenting day for me, but I also knew it was times like these when I needed to focus on the big picture and not beat myself up for not being a better parent on a particular day.

I actually told my kids about the difficult case and explained why I was so worn out. I am not certain they "got it," but I like to think that they understood on some level. And I would rather explain the reasons for the way I feel than for them to think it had anything to do with them.

Above all else, I think it is essential that I focus on my relationship with Ben and Arden and that they know I will never give up on having a relationship with them no matter how trying it can sometimes be.

I want them to have it cemented in their DNA that I will always have their backs, and I will always be their biggest supporter. I want to help them discover their unique role in the world—whatever that might be.

Think of the one thing you can do to improve your relationship with your kids. You might be surprised at what you come up with.

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